Characters In Search of a Novel by Molly D. Campbell

Loretta Squirrels

She don’t take nothin’ from no one. Hell, she ain’t had a Daddy her whole life, and her Mama left Loretta to take care of them babies most days. Loretta learnt how to shoot and how to cook what she kilt. Them babies never went hungry.

She don’t take no shit. She don’t have to, cause she’s so big and mean. Loretta has to bend down to go through most doors, and I seen her kick a few in when they was locked! And if she gets drunk, git out of the way, cause Loretta gets to shoving folks around, then!

Loretta married Bobby Ray Squirrels when they was in eighth grade. She says she liked his eyes. Everyone says it’s cause Bobby Ray had the best Moonshine recipe, and Loretta wanted that recipe more than anything else in the world. Moonshine is money in the bank. So now Bobby Ray and Loretta have a bidness. A real bidness. Loretta is the CEO. That means Cheats Every One.

Loretta don’t never make mistakes. Hell, she says the only mistake she ever made was havin’ too many babies. But Loretta raised ’em and kicked ’em out. Now she has all the time she needs to keep her stills goin’ and keep Bobby Ray in line.

Loretta loves her music. She and Bobby Ray go over to Jesco’s Grill on Friday nites, when they’s got the bluegrass goin’. Hell, she sings right along with the band, and she gets louder and louder all nite! I seen her take her top off and shake around in her bra, but then Bobby Ray tole her to git her clothes on! Loretta can sing all nite long, and she never gets raspy or nothin’.

I hear that Loretta’s cousin Harald tried to steal from Loretta’s sister one time, and Loretta stabbed Harald for tryin’. I hear she used a fork. Man, that woman is mean! But shit, Harald should of knowed better. He was the one who showed Loretta how to use a gun, for cryin’ out loud.

I used to be friends with her, but now I don’t trust Loretta for shit. Hell, she came over my house and took four chickens! She says she did not, but I saw her runnin’ off down the creek—she wrung their necks and shoved ’em in a poke! That Loretta oughta think about things. ‘Fore she knows it, her and Bobby Ray won’t have no more folks to depend on. What they call that? A support system? Well, she ain’t gonna have one, no how, if she keeps stealin’ poultry.

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Genre - Fiction / Short Stories

Rating – PG13

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