I pleaded, “I’m fine.” (I’m not.) “Back off.” (Please don’t.) I assured them I had it under control, but I didn’t. And, though I couldn’t admit it, I was starting to get scared. Every time I reached my stated goal weight, I set a new one before I stepped off the scale. I had reached ninety-nine pounds and was now going for ninety-five, maybe ninety. Yes—ninety sounded better.
My friends gave me an ultimatum: either I would tell David what I was doing or I would go to an eating-disorders clinic within the next week; otherwise, Jane would call David herself. A voice inside me cried out, Please don’t make me eat. Being hungry is all that is feeding me.
Where Have I Been All My Life? is a compelling memoir recounting one woman’s journey through grief and a profound feeling of unworthiness to wholeness and healing. It begins with the chillingly sudden death of Rice’s mother, and is followed by her foray into the center of mourning.
With wisdom, grace, and humor, Rice recounts the grief games she plays in an effort to resurrect her mother; her efforts to get her therapist, who she falls desperately in love with, to run away with her; and the transformation of her husband from fantasy man to ordinary guy to superhero. In the process, she experiences aching revelations about her family and her past—and realizes what she must leave behind, and what she can carry forward with her.
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Genre – Memoir
Rating – PG-13
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